Hate the person, Love the Righteous Intent.

A friend of mine posted something about too many crying babies at church.  Some comments that followed took the thread to a totally different place.  I didn't see the pivotal post because it had been deleted by the time I got around to it.  It did bring up an opinion I have about people at church that I would like to share in case it can help someone else.

So many people feel they need to walk around "on egg shells" so they do not offend others at church.  This is something that never made sense to me.  I've heard of people leaving the church because someone didn't return a Tupperware dish or similarly lame thing.  I've also heard of the more understandable scenario of "the bishop punished me more harshly than someone else who did the same thing I did".  I am NOT saying that the people who leave the church are not totally and utterly offended by the actions of ward members or leaders.  I am also NOT saying that people who are offended are some lesser person than I am (I've left for other reasons).  I AM saying that you should not leave the church, or more accurately, allow your salvation to be impacted negatively by anyone!

I left, then came back to the church after thinking the rules were so restrictive and the clergy were such pompous A-Holes, I wanted to go at life my own way.  Upon my return I had to deal with some disciplinary actions that were relatively "light" but at the counsel of those people I still identified as selfish A-Holes.  It took many years of up and down attendance before I made worse choices which ended in disfellowshipment (not quite an excommunication so I can't speak to that level of feeling) again, at the hands of some people that I hated.

Throughout the times I had to deal with council from those I hated I could not doubt my own testimony, nor the new found testimony that these people, although pompous and sometimes unintelligent, were indeed in touch with the same spirit that was strengthening me.  I would think to myself, "how does this terrible person, so cocky and pompous, know exactly what topic needs to be discussed" (their words were still their own but the topic and reason they brought the subject up was inspired).

It was during these years that I formulated the opinion that we are all different and that is a good thing.  I might hate you personally, your way of communicating, your attitude, your face, and you might hate me for the same reasons, however, we can both move toward the shared divine goal or task set before us.  Much like "hate the sin not the sinner" I decided to "love the progression and not the person."
If someone offends you and you are thinking "that person is a leader in the church and so if they are full of 'it then the church must be too" then I implore you to hit your knees and talk to the Lord about it.  This might be what was meant by "pray for your enemy" but whatever you do, don't get frustrated and leave because some A-Hole said or did something stupid... those other people are not worth your eternal salvation!

*Feel free to share your comments, I hope this can help someone.  Also, if I've offended you with what I have said, I am sorry.  You are entitled to your own opinion, as am I.  You did not live my life just like I did not live yours and we have arrived at our own respective places based on our experiences.  If I offended you then please try and take my advice and do not let what I've said negatively impact you at all.

-- Ivan Eugene Lawrence II