Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Green Smoothie - Day 2


Day two of Yard Clipping breakfast has turned out well. I still have a bit of a headache but I think it might be unrelated... or its all the free radical toxins leaving my body*

I upped the kale by an additional stalk and added berries:
5 stalks of kale
4oz of Limeade
4oz Orange Juice
1 Gala Apple
~ 1 Cup of Blueberries

I'm thinking I might invest in a BlendTec (http://www.willitblend.com/) but I'm not sure if I really wanna spend $400 on a blender that will probably wake up the neighbors let alone my family.  I was thinking of dedicating a cupboard to the blender, but in a kitchen that is smaller than most prison cells I'm not sure the wife will be on board... unless the blender can guarantee me washboard abs, I think she would be fine with that.

---- notes ----
*Like Cartman, "I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about "protectin' the earth" and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!"

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Green Smoothie - Day 1

Last night I made my first "green smoothie" consisting of four stalks of kale, two apples, some limeade, and ice. It looked like vomit and smelled like lawn clippings. It taste okay but had a sandy texture since there was so much fiber. It seemed healthy though, and I was hopping it would keep me feeling full... It sorta did.

About three hours later I found myself in the restroom cursing them what thought up green smoothies! It was powering trough me with the force of nutrients and the biting pain of fiber. I fully expected to see my actual stomach.

After some forty-five minutes or so I felt like I might as well just go to sleep since this was probably gonna get worse before it got better. It is now the morning (four hours after I got to sleep again) and I am committed to eating another one of these gut busting yard waste soups. The up shot is I didn't have to buy anything but the "edibles" since my lovely wife has an awesome mixer.

As I choke down another slurry of green slop I repeat to myself a often missed phrase from an Pink's music video "Stupid Girls"; "[vomit sound] I wanna be skinny" (http://youtu.be/BR4yQFZK9YM?t=2m12s)

Monday, January 21, 2013

Hate the person, Love the Righteous Intent.


A friend of mine posted something about too many crying babies at church.  Some comments that followed took the thread to a totally different place.  I didn't see the pivotal post because it had been deleted by the time I got around to it.  It did bring up an opinion I have about people at church that I would like to share in case it can help someone else.

So many people feel they need to walk around "on egg shells" so they do not offend others at church.  This is something that never made sense to me.  I've heard of people leaving the church because someone didn't return a Tupperware dish or similarly lame thing.  I've also heard of the more understandable scenario of "the bishop punished me more harshly than someone else who did the same thing I did".  I am NOT saying that the people who leave the church are not totally and utterly offended by the actions of ward members or leaders.  I am also NOT saying that people who are offended are some lesser person than I am (I've left for other reasons).  I AM saying that you should not leave the church, or more accurately, allow your salvation to be impacted negatively by anyone!

I left, then came back to the church after thinking the rules were so restrictive and the clergy were such pompous A-Holes, I wanted to go at life my own way.  Upon my return I had to deal with some disciplinary actions that were relatively "light" but at the counsel of those people I still identified as selfish A-Holes.  It took many years of up and down attendance before I made worse choices which ended in disfellowshipment (not quite an excommunication so I can't speak to that level of feeling) again, at the hands of some people that I hated.

Throughout the times I had to deal with council from those I hated I could not doubt my own testimony, nor the new found testimony that these people, although pompous and sometimes unintelligent, were indeed in touch with the same spirit that was strengthening me.  I would think to myself, "how does this terrible person, so cocky and pompous, know exactly what topic needs to be discussed" (their words were still their own but the topic and reason they brought the subject up was inspired).

It was during these years that I formulated the opinion that we are all different and that is a good thing.  I might hate you personally, your way of communicating, your attitude, your face, and you might hate me for the same reasons, however, we can both move toward the shared divine goal or task set before us.  Much like "hate the sin not the sinner" I decided to "love the progression and not the person."
If someone offends you and you are thinking "that person is a leader in the church and so if they are full of 'it then the church must be too" then I implore you to hit your knees and talk to the Lord about it.  This might be what was meant by "pray for your enemy" but whatever you do, don't get frustrated and leave because some A-Hole said or did something stupid... those other people are not worth your eternal salvation!

*Feel free to share your comments, I hope this can help someone.  Also, if I've offended you with what I have said, I am sorry.  You are entitled to your own opinion, as am I.  You did not live my life just like I did not live yours and we have arrived at our own respective places based on our experiences.  If I offended you then please try and take my advice and do not let what I've said negatively impact you at all.

-- Ivan Eugene Lawrence II