I just read (most of) an article (Rolling Stone: Sexting, Shame and Suicide) about how a 15yr old girl committed suicide after being embarrassed by people who sexually assaulted her! Wait, what? Thankfully none of these things were even close to the reality I was exposed to!
I'm not sure where to attribute my successfully navigating the harsh reality of life to. I was teased a lot as a kid [insert childhood video that I never want to see again] and rightly so since I was on basically the lowest rung you can get to socially. I was a redheaded 200lbs 10yrs old and was at least a year younger than most of my classmates. Most people, at least when I grew up, would not tease a "differently abled" (retarded) child, since I was just a fat redhead it was open season! I have no memory of how I was able to deal with the shaming and bullying. I don't recall ever being beaten up, I was punched in the throat once, leaned that lesson pretty quickly.
So when I read an article about some teen girl who killed herself after being bullied I first think, thats sad but sheesh, suck it up, it couldn't have been that bad. Then I keep reading and see it was because someone raped her and published the pictures of it to their peer group at school... WTF? You have got to be kidding me! Okay, she was dressing sexy (short shorts, thong pulled out the top, skimpy tops showing her boobs off, etc.) so there is a moment where you could think "she was asking for it dressed that way"... then you realize she was getting really drunk and "making out" with a a couple of the boys at the part so you might think "well theres your problem"... then you find out she passed out drunk and the boys dragged her into a room where they assaulted her (details withheld) and took pictures of themselves doing it.
At this point I shift focus away from this poor young girl's bad decisions and think about what kind of degenerates the boys in this story are!
I am a youth leader for a large group of boy ages 12yrs - 18yrs. I "teach" a sunday church "class" of 8yrs - 11yrs old boys every sunday. I have two boys of my own now. I was once a boy between the ages of 8yrs - 18yrs old. I feel that these boys could have been helped some how to keep themselves doing this!
I'm not one to blame the alcohol, I don't think its a great idea to get all sloppy drunk at that age, but it is not like alcohol causes you to become a pervert! It lowers your inhibitions which means you have to have been broken in the first place!
I would like all boys within the reach of this message to know that you are the ones in control! You choose to be a pervert or not! You can choose to bully others or not! You choose to be affected by bullying! You choose to allow others to bully others while you do nothing!
You kids these days need to look out for each other. Your presence at a party where something like this happens can implicate you or your innocent friends in a crime! Who is to say someone doesn't blame you for what happened?!
My friends in high school use to tell raunchy jokes and use foul language. We decided girls didn't want to be around that kind of person so we decided to help each other out. We chose to punch anyone of us that was being offensive. This worked well!
By policing yourself and your friends you are keeping the problems to a minimum and you might save a life! That life you save might be your own!
